


Entertain Me

by apple_pi



Category: The Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Cannot emphasize how silly this is, M/M, Rampant Silliness, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-03-31
Updated: 2005-03-31
Packaged: 2018-07-27 09:27:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7612747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apple_pi/pseuds/apple_pi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Billy is bored. Dom entertains him... sort of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Entertain Me

“Always with the writing,” Billy said, leaning twitchily against the doorframe. Silence ensued; Dom continued writing, Billy continued leaning. Finally:

“Stop staring so loud,” Dom said, never lifting his eyes.

Billy made an annoyed (and somehow Scottish) noise, and flopped onto the far end of the sofa. “I should take up writing.”

“Yes, you should.”

Billy waited a few moments, then sighed. Gustily. He stared at Dom. Tried to make Dom look up by the sheer power of his gaze. Pretended his eyes were laser-beams, burning into the side of Dom’s head. Pretended he was a shark with a laser-beam strapped to its head and he was using the laser-beam to burn into the side of Dom’s head. Decided perhaps he’d been watching too much Austin Powers. Watched the pen skate merrily across the page. Ha, Merrily. Sighed gustily again, and noticed how his fringe fluttered. That was good entertainment for a moment or two: he blew upward and tried to watch the hair over his forehead (what little hair there was, these days) as it lifted and then settled again.

It paled. “Dom,” he said. No reply, so he tried coaxing: “Oh, Dommie…” Nothing. Irritable, short and snappish: “Dom!” Whiny: “Da-ahm!” Sang it: “Dom!” Sang it lower, as low as his voice could go, pathetic really, tenor that he was, but he did it anyway, enjoying the way it buzzed in his chest: “Dom.” Slightly higher: “Dom.” Falsetto and operatic: “Domini-i-i-i-i-c!”

“Shut the fuck up, William.”

“I need to be entertained.” Billy leaned forward and rested his chin on Dom’s knees. “Entertain me.”

Dom didn’t even look up. “Piss off.”

Billy watched Dom’s fingers for a while, then slid his chin sideways until his cheek rested on Dom’s shin and he was staring at Dom’s bare feet. “Your toes are really long.” He spider-walked his hand across the cushion to Dom’s feet. “Prehensile. Can toes be prehensile?”

“Yes. Means they can grasp things.” Dom turned a page and settled further into the couch, beginning a new sentence, perhaps; Billy could feel how his body shifted, could see how his toes pressed briefly into the leather and then relaxed again. 

“In that case your toes are most certainly prehensile,” Billy said. He made his first two fingers into the legs of a little man, walking across the top of Dom’s bony foot. “Here comes the Sneaky Man,” he whispered in a sing-song.

“Billy.”

“What? My gran used to do that to us. She’d walk the Sneaky Man up our arms and then suddenly tickle our necks. Used to have us screeching like monkeys.” Billy stared at his fingers, made the Sneaky Man do a little dance: a chorus-line-style number with impressive high kicks, then a waltz. Box step. Foxtrot. Could the Sneaky Man grapevine across Dom’s foot? Why, yes, he certainly could.

Dom kept writing.

The Sneaky Man was tired, or maybe Billy was just tired of him. Billy’s other hand became Evil Twin of Sneaky Man and snuck up on Sneaky Man; Evil Twin leapt out from behind Dom’s calves to bludgeon Sneaky Man to death.

“Ouch,” Dom said without any real emotion, as Evil Twin curled into a fist and pounded Sneaky Man. “Quit it. You’re messing up my writing.”

“Fine.” Billy sighed. “Sneaky Man is dead anyway.” He leaned more heavily against Dom’s legs. Grasped Dom’s big toe between his thumb and index finger. “This little piggy went to market.” Second toe, weirdly long—almost as long as the big toe. “This little piggy stayed home.” Next. “This little piggy had roast beef.” Penultimate piggy, and Billy noticed that the scritch of the pen had ceased. “This little piggy had none. Poor wee piggy.” Billy pinched that one with a small gesture of sympathy, his voice quavering with pathos. Alright. Moving on. “And this little piggy—” Billy wriggled Dom’s pinky toe enthusiastically, “wentAAAAAAAUUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!!”

“—WEE WEE WEE ALL THE WAY HOME!!!” Dom screamed as he tackled Billy and rolled him off the couch onto the floor and across it, fingers digging painfully into Billy’s ribs, thighs, back, arms, knees—every ticklish place on his body was targeted, and Billy went very quickly from full-throated shrieks of outrage to soundless choking and red-faced writhing under Dom’s fierce attentions.

“ENTERTAINED?!?” Dom shouted into Billy’s ear, once he had him pinned on his front, arm twisted up behind him and cheek ground into the carpet. Dom bounced up and down on Billy’s arse. Hard. “ _Are you entertained yet, Billy?_ ”

“Ss—ss—stop—” Billy gasped and then he grunted loudly as Dom bounced again with particular enthusiasm. 

“Are you entertained? Bored anymore? Just trying to help you out, Bills.”

Billy groaned, teary with agonised laughter. “F’you do that a few more times I’ll be highly entertained,” he managed when Dom slowed his attack.

“Oh for Chrissakes.” Dom stopped, leaned further. Licked his ear and then thrust his wet tongue right into it so Billy shrieked again. “Fucking horny little bastard.”

Billy squeaked and twisted beneath him. “Not!” he denied. “Just bored.”

Dom sat up and slid off him with a thump. “Fine, wanker. I’m finished with my journal. What do you want to do?”

Billy rolled onto his back and grinned at Dom. “Fuck you.”

Dom rolled his eyes.


End file.
